The Women

In my 21 years of existence I’ve been closer to women more than men. Maybe because I am a semi-mama’s boy and I grew up fatherless. And in that unbalanced environment I’ve been exposed more to the feminine world. In the family I am closer with my two sisters more than my three brothers and even with my girl cousins and aunties.

I feel more comfortable in talking and dealing with women. For me they are more open-minded, better listeners and wiser advisers, more caring, more sensible, more sensitive and less cruel than men (forgive me for being so sexist but I guess I am speaking based on my personal experiences).

I do have plenty of male friends however there’s really a big difference in having female friends. With women as friends, they have views and ideas contradictory to men, they look at things in contrasting perspectives, they have different approaches and solutions to problems, they have different interpretations and judgment on certain phenomena of life and somehow in those differences spring personal growth and widened possibilities. Unlike with men, when seeking advice or in weighing options and solving crises, we would hear the things we are expecting to hear because we share the same nature, instincts, impulses and outlooks in like.

Aside from my mother and sisters, six women shared a space in my heart. I have lots of female friends but these six are the closest to me and that I know when my burial comes they can speak a lot about me for they truly know the real Noliver inside and out.

C.G. (The Rowdy)

She’s my opposite. Her noise smashes up my eardrums, her badmouth rattles my senses. She’s a walking bully, and fits the definition of maligalig. You wouldn’t believe it, but she’s a P.E. teacher in a Christian school (kawawang mga estudyante). But despite her extremely thunderous laughter, gargantuan eyes, undecipherable penmanship and raucous behavior she’s a nice person inside. She’s someone you can really count on in times of need and trouble. She has tons of positivity (nasunugan na nga tawa pa ng tawa) and male hormones (she can kick a man’s ass with her fists).

Way back in high school (and even in College), she would always ask me to design her projects and made some letterings and other artistic stuffs. In turn, she would be there to look after and carry my bag, would wait for me until my last subject ends (she didn’t take up journalism) and then she would treat me kwek kwek and palamig on the way home. She loves dancing, spaghetti and McDonulds. During her birthdays, I would always buy her a cake; it became a customary obligation on my part. During our fights she’s the first one to lower her pride and make a move for reconciliation. And during my own fights she’s my greatest ally.

S.J.B. (The Chatty)

The front of their house is our tambayan. I would go there (usually with C.G. and sometimes with other Amitybulok friends) and have some long (as in very long) chitchat with her until we run out of topics and our jaws would drop dead. She has a very light personality – simple, friendly, cheerful, free-spirited, carefree. Just like C.G., she’s a tomadora but then she knows her limitation.

We share books (esp. those sensational romances) as well as advices on love and relationships, career, family, and life as a whole. She always brags my achievements on her classmates and it really makes me feel awkward. With that, I consider her as my greatest admirer (ang kapal ko eh no hehe). I would always tell her to have confidence on herself and that don’t be so martyr in her relationships. She’s the one who taught me a lot of things about techie stuffs. She’s my bank whenever I’m broke. Her company is my sanctuary whenever I feel lonely, miserable, anxious or upset. Whenever there’s good or bad news about myself I want her to be the first person to know it for I know no matter how big or small it is, if it’s about me, it matters to her.

J.A.C. (The Balahura)

I’ve known her since high school during those gatherings (contests, seminars, trainings etc.) of the society of walking neurons. Then we became classmates during my freshmen in the University. Having the same size of brain and bastarda attitude, we jived well. We share the same circle of friends. She’s buraot and makapal ang mukha with all those favors she asked from me. When we separated ways and have our own courses, every time she sees me at the corridor or canteen she would harassingly ask me to buy her this and that. At one point, she became my tutor in Math.

She’s goal-driven, practical (a.k.a kuripot), resourceful, creative and witty. Just like me – she’s a certified b-i-t-c-h. I always visit their house when I was still in college and we would talk about our lives. Her mother is very hospitable and maasikaso. She now teaches math (the subject I hated most) at ICAM. Because of her, I became a master in being pilosopo and pasaway. Despite her being balahura in talking, behaving, and with her things, she’s a totoong tao.

I.J.D.C. (The Guru)

We’re very much the same in being hard-headed and inconsistent. She’s daredevil, philosophical, boyish, very emotional, overly sensitive and apologetic for all her shortcomings. She’s the greatest martyr in the name of love. I would really love bashing her head in the wall so that she may wake up in reality and give up all the burdens love had caused her. But then, I am her friend and all I could do is guide and support her the best I can. Her silence means a disturbed spirit is residing inside her brain.

She would always seek my advice but she rarely follows it. I have slept in their house many times and I would love going with her in feeding their pigs. I’m her secret keeper and vice-versa. With all the things that happened to her life, I can say, that she’s the toughest woman in the whole wide universe. I admire her undaunted courage and exceptional strength. Aside from being mataray and worst critic, she can be very vulnerable at times. I do hope that day comes that she would let go the things that causes her unbearable pain. And when that moment comes, magpapaparty ako.

V.M.D. (The Pa-tweetums)

She’s very fun to be with. Together with I.J.D.C., our threesome group is a chaos. Among Superfriends (our College peer group), the three of us are the closest. She and I.J.D.C. are soccer players and ant hunters, literally. She’s having difficulty tumawid sa kalye and has an R & L speech syndrome. I learned so many abnormal lingo and expressions from her. She’s an epitome of makulit. And God, she giggles a lot.

Before, we see her as someone who is so childish and devoid of refinement especially in behaviors. And now that she teaches in a primary school somehow she became quite mature. If she wants something she’s really determined in having it using all her ganda lang attitude. Her jokes are really half meant and sometimes she looks and sounds abnormal with her earsplitting laughter and noise. If not for her and I.J.D.C., I would have a very difficult college life. The two helped me survive college (in assignments, projects, thesis, exams, reports etc.) for my other extra-curricular activities burdened me so much. And so they never left me.

C.M. (The Sweety)

She’s the sweetest and loveliest person I’ve ever met. Among the six, she’s the only one who hugs and kisses me. Her perennial tardiness in our hang-outs irritates me so much. But then she would always make up for all our canceled coffee chitchat and church visits. Honestly, I can no longer remember how did this bibo kid and I ended up in this kind of friendship or even when was our first meeting and how did it progressed.

She’s very motherly - maasikaso, thoughtful, caring and considerate. She doesn’t want me to be so bitchy with guys. But then, she’s the one doing so perhaps because she really has the face and the body that could launch a thousand ships. She would use her charm in dealing with people so that she would get what she wants. It’s quite annoying every time boys would look at her (boobs). We both love coffees and endless discussions on social issues. Our inclination on leadership, politics and activism made us closer. We always pretend in public that we have a relationship but the truth is we just simply love each other.

There are lots of commonalities that these women share – the brain, the talent, the charm, the attitude, and the substance. They are all unsinkable. But more than these, I am who I am without any reservations when I’m with them. Despite all my shortcomings and lapses they never judge me instead they’ve been very supportive in my search for my real self.

Part of my strength came from them. I was able to enjoy life, and make the most of it because of they gave me the opportunity to experience so many things that ordinary high school or college life, books, teachers, and education cannot provide. I was able to go out of my box and be exposed in different walks and areas of life.

These women have witnessed my struggles in life; they’ve been there as I conquered victories and succumbed to failures, they’re with me as I searched for truth and sought answers about my complicated self, they became my allies in every battle I have endured and they’ve created wonderful memories with me that in one way or another created an impact on how I view myself and life as a whole.

I wanted to thank these women for all their time, efforts, supports, advises, understanding, comforts, and most importantly, the happiness and lessons they have shared with me.

May our friendships last forever. . .
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As of now, there are women years younger than me who follow the footsteps of the six women I have mentioned above. I do hope that, they too, could also impart something on me just like what the six had.